Half of Me details the disappointment of a Starbuck’s pumpkin scone and latte, much longed for and finally eaten as a “cheat meal.” I was right there with her: Starby’s once failed me, too, in the baked goods dept. Oh, how it was a day of woe. Oh, how the skies ran with blood. Oh, how there was much gnashing of teeth. Oh… OK. I’ll get to that in a minute.

I don’t do cheat meals generally — although I guess I do them de facto, but not planned. Does that count? I think probably not.

Still, sometimes back when I was worked in Venice, I did a “Friday treat.” Usually that meant I’d have the Rose Cafe’s incredible turkey sandwich with fennel-tomato slaw, which comes with two thick slices of the most fabulous, oil-rich rosemary sourdough bread.

Once though I decided to finally get a Starby’s delectable. Pretty much every time I go in there I scrupulously eyeball every inch of the glass case for new and tasty items. (Yeah, it’s sad.) But really it’s just for fun because generally speaking, I don’t even think of this kind of stuff as food anymore. They should put a big skull and crossbones over the front. Maybe for Halloween at least?

Anyway, when I finally took the plunge, I made a grave error: I got the REDUCED FAT banana choco-chip cake. What was I thinking? Tasted great but had a weird, gummy texture. And when I checked out the nutritional info online, I found out it had the same number of calories as what I really wanted, the raspberry swirl cake. Murder!! Strife!! Ignominy!!

At least now I know that maybe, just maybe, the full-fat goody would have been a disappointment, too. Thanks Half of Me, for taking one for all of us. Your actions will not be forgotten by history, nor by the readers of this blog.